Natalie Allan

Crashing Computers And Screamworks

I’d been waiting for my copy of Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice by my favourite band HIM since the middle of January. When it finally arrived from Amazon after all the trouble I had with the bank cancelling the order from Warner records, I was looking forward to bunging the thing in my computer and just listening to it.

No such luck. When I booted my computer to listen to the damn thing on Saturday after receiving it in the mail, my computer refused to come on. It was dead. As in forever. So I had to go to the trouble of setting up a new PC. I decided not to put Windows back on it and have instead gone back to Ubuntu Linux. I’ve never had a problem with Linux, it just works like it’s meant to.

Recovering my data from said dead PC took all of Saturday and I didn’t get to hear my album until Sunday. It’s absolutely amazing. I love the album and all it’s songs. The bonus CD, Baudelaire in Braille is equally as amazing. I can’t stop listening to it.

I ordered it from Amazon because of the bank rejected the transaction from Warner Records. I received an email today from Warner to say the CD and Saint Scream print has now been shipped and Warner have started to take the money again for the order from the bank. So it looks like I’ll end up with two copies of the CD. I’m giving the CD to a friend of mine in Finland. I love her very much and she deserves to have my copy. So I’ve promised her she can have it for free if and when the damn things arrive!

I’m just glad I get my Saint Scream print

Village of Vampires

I’m back in the saddle of the 4th draft, knocking out about 1000 carefully thought out words a day. I’ve finished my beta reading with only one ongoing manuscript hitting my mailbox so I have ample time now to go about my usual writerly days. I’m still two months behind schedule, but I’ll have to see how I go.

I query agents when I get round to it, when the books complete. No personal pressure…

Once upon a time, I used to wish for more emails. The urge to connect was there, the need to chat with my friends via this free medium was at the forefront of my mind. I would check my email several times a day, only to find my inbox empty and my junk folder full. I felt forlorn, rejected, lonely.

Now, however, rarely a day passes where my inbox is sparse or devoid completely of communication. The emails pour in morning, noon and night. I reply to them, giving necessary details, friendly advice and ongoing chatter. For everyone I respond to, five more appear. The little number that tells me how many emails I have goes up and up, the amount of flags meaning I’ve marked that said email as important or is something I need work on increases. As do the beta reads.

I’ve been a good girl lately, ignoring my own urges to write and complete my book so I can I read through the books others have already written. I’m true to the writer, keeping my eye critical and my advice devoid of personal opinion or changes I’d make if it were my work. I create reports on what worked, what didn’t, why the plot doesn’t arc or why characters seem flat. I read, I advise, I line edit, I send the work back to it’s owner.

Then I begin again, working from early morning like I did today until I go to bed at night. I eye my own novel, still incomplete and deserving my attention. But these other people need my help, how can I say no to them or tell them my work is more important? I can’t turn my back on a friend, and yet, I turn my back on my own novel every day. The emails come in with chapters and sometimes whole manuscripts attached, and I work tirelessly on them until I’ve fulfilled my promise to the writer, my friend.

The hours pass, and by nightfall I have little energy for my own work. It’s been several days since I worked on my fourth draft, the urge to write is practically tearing my brain to pieces. But the emails are there and they won’t go away. I don’t want them to go away because I know I’m doing some good helping the friends these things belong to.

A few more days and I hope I’ll have cleared out the beta reads in my inbox. The other emails that require simple replies to a non-writing friend will have to wait. My novel needs me, and I have to get back to it before all these beta reads get published and my own work is still sat on the shelf collecting dust.

In the face of this, I have to say I can’t take on any new beta reads for the foreseeable future. I have my own novel to consider, as well three full manuscripts I’m reading through for friends. Aside from this, I do partial betas for trusted close friends who occasionally email me a chapter they may be struggling with or an idea that doesn’t settle right. I would love to help you get your book published as others are doing for me, but if I take too much on I’m going to melt. I have to work on what projects I have open first.

I’m now two months behind schedule for querying agents on my novel. I was meant to begin querying mid-March, but it doesn’t look as though I’ll get there until May or maybe June. By all means, when I finally get to this stage I may be able to offer to beta read, but not until I’m finished chewing everything I have in my mouth, swallowed, and digested.

With all this said, it’s back to the manuscripts if I ever want to jump back into my own work.